Monday, June 18, 2012
Two years later...
So... I abandoned my blog. Not that I have any followers... sad... I got caught up doing nothing. The monotony of life got the best of me. I'm back! with a ton of things, ideas, feelings and emotions on my mind. Some good and bad things have happened in these two short years. I'm older and wiser hahaha I just have to take some time and write.
To be continued...
Thursday, November 4, 2010
I need a place to run and hide, I need a friend that can be all ears. I need a drink to quench my thirst, I need a Love that grows and grows...I need respect, appreciation and praise. I am a soul out of control!
I need a place where I can find peace. I need my soul to feel rich and full. I need a hand to hold while I walk down this narrow path and I need an open mind to understand why all these obstacles are placed before me. I need a shield to protect this kind and noble heart. I need agility and speed to catch up with my Happiness which is quickly leaving me behind. This soul that lives within me is slowly dying out.
I need a good book to take my mind out of reality and let me fly around in unknown lands. I need to meet a great mind to explain to me the reasons why this world is in such a strife. I need a politician to guide me through this crooked road and in the end I need to teach him honesty, humility and hope.
I need to find my soul a reason to keep on fighting. I need to find the words perseverance, passion, and joy even if they are hiding under apathy, hate and sorrow. I need to feed my soul and stop it from going out of control!
I need a place where I can find peace. I need my soul to feel rich and full. I need a hand to hold while I walk down this narrow path and I need an open mind to understand why all these obstacles are placed before me. I need a shield to protect this kind and noble heart. I need agility and speed to catch up with my Happiness which is quickly leaving me behind. This soul that lives within me is slowly dying out.
I need a good book to take my mind out of reality and let me fly around in unknown lands. I need to meet a great mind to explain to me the reasons why this world is in such a strife. I need a politician to guide me through this crooked road and in the end I need to teach him honesty, humility and hope.
I need to find my soul a reason to keep on fighting. I need to find the words perseverance, passion, and joy even if they are hiding under apathy, hate and sorrow. I need to feed my soul and stop it from going out of control!
Friday, September 24, 2010
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Saturday, June 19, 2010
I am…
I am…
Loving
Emotional
Sexy
Beautiful
Funny
Gullible
Caring
Sincere
Helpful
Hard worker
Straight forward
Honest
Reliable
Expressive
Restless
Passionate
A dreamer
A Friend
A lover
A sister
A daughter
A hopeless romantic
An observer
A people watcher
A student of life
An individual
A believer
I am an Alien!
Loving
Emotional
Sexy
Beautiful
Funny
Gullible
Caring
Sincere
Helpful
Hard worker
Straight forward
Honest
Reliable
Expressive
Restless
Passionate
A dreamer
A Friend
A lover
A sister
A daughter
A hopeless romantic
An observer
A people watcher
A student of life
An individual
A believer
I am an Alien!
Try Sleeping with a Broken Heart
Try Sleeping with a Broken Heart
Yeah! I am sure everyone has been through it… its almost going to be a year since I ended my four year relationship. It’s not him that I miss. I miss the relationship. I still have trouble sleeping at nights.
Trying to get over something as big as a four year relationship is not easy. I miss my friend, my lover, my confidant, my partner in crime and my drinking buddy!!!! Relationships come to an end for a reason and I see it as the end of a new beginning…
I decided to end the relationship because even though he loved me to death and still does he wasn’t giving 110 per cent to the relationship. I was always looking out for our future while still enjoying the moments as well. My mind set was and always has been that: if after four years in a relationship he hasn’t made an effort to take it to the next level… then there’s no point in continuing. By taking the relationship to the next level I don’t mean marriage! It could be small things like starting a savings account together, getting a puppy (as a love child hahaha) going house hunting. I don’t think I asked for much and I was willing to work extra hard to make both our dreams come true.
To my surprise we were not on the same page… he thought that taking the next step forward was too risky too soon (after four years!!!) and he wanted to remain in the same relationship status that we were in. He didn’t see a need to move on, although he loved me to death and still does.
That’s when it all went down hill… I didn’t want him to be tied down to me. I thought that maybe if we took sometime off from each other then maybe we could both find what we were really looking for.
But, who am I kidding I just wasn’t in love anymore. I wanted to live, experience and have no regrets. I don’t want to look back and ask myself why didn’t you give yourself a chance to experience, party and have fun. Why did you stay in a relationship for so long with a guy that wasn’t ready to give you what you needed?
Try sleeping with a broken heart… yeah I ended it, I got what I wanted, but I still have a broken heart because in the beginning I was in it for the long run. I was ready to grow up together, learn together and experience new things together. All my hard work efforts and heartaches thrown away. I will not say it was a waste of four years because it wasn’t. It was a learning experience… you grown from it and you move on
Not as easy as it sounds… late nightS up thinking and thinking. Wondering what if we try this or that. Nights were you cry yourself to sleep because there is no one to blame but yourself. Maybe if I lower my standards and give him another opportunity things will work out.
I miss his hugs, his kisses our naps…but you can’t sit and think about the good old days. In order to survive a broken heart you focus on how much you're worth as a person and what it is that makes YOU happy. You concentrate on loving yourself before you can love someone else.
Emotional breakdowns still happen and it’s a long road to find a healed heart. I am getting there. Every day is one day closer to moving on.
Yeah! I am sure everyone has been through it… its almost going to be a year since I ended my four year relationship. It’s not him that I miss. I miss the relationship. I still have trouble sleeping at nights.
Trying to get over something as big as a four year relationship is not easy. I miss my friend, my lover, my confidant, my partner in crime and my drinking buddy!!!! Relationships come to an end for a reason and I see it as the end of a new beginning…
I decided to end the relationship because even though he loved me to death and still does he wasn’t giving 110 per cent to the relationship. I was always looking out for our future while still enjoying the moments as well. My mind set was and always has been that: if after four years in a relationship he hasn’t made an effort to take it to the next level… then there’s no point in continuing. By taking the relationship to the next level I don’t mean marriage! It could be small things like starting a savings account together, getting a puppy (as a love child hahaha) going house hunting. I don’t think I asked for much and I was willing to work extra hard to make both our dreams come true.
To my surprise we were not on the same page… he thought that taking the next step forward was too risky too soon (after four years!!!) and he wanted to remain in the same relationship status that we were in. He didn’t see a need to move on, although he loved me to death and still does.
That’s when it all went down hill… I didn’t want him to be tied down to me. I thought that maybe if we took sometime off from each other then maybe we could both find what we were really looking for.
But, who am I kidding I just wasn’t in love anymore. I wanted to live, experience and have no regrets. I don’t want to look back and ask myself why didn’t you give yourself a chance to experience, party and have fun. Why did you stay in a relationship for so long with a guy that wasn’t ready to give you what you needed?
Try sleeping with a broken heart… yeah I ended it, I got what I wanted, but I still have a broken heart because in the beginning I was in it for the long run. I was ready to grow up together, learn together and experience new things together. All my hard work efforts and heartaches thrown away. I will not say it was a waste of four years because it wasn’t. It was a learning experience… you grown from it and you move on
Not as easy as it sounds… late nightS up thinking and thinking. Wondering what if we try this or that. Nights were you cry yourself to sleep because there is no one to blame but yourself. Maybe if I lower my standards and give him another opportunity things will work out.
I miss his hugs, his kisses our naps…but you can’t sit and think about the good old days. In order to survive a broken heart you focus on how much you're worth as a person and what it is that makes YOU happy. You concentrate on loving yourself before you can love someone else.
Emotional breakdowns still happen and it’s a long road to find a healed heart. I am getting there. Every day is one day closer to moving on.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
A Bird Trapped in a Golden Cage
“A Bird Trapped in a Golden Cage”
Once upon a time, in a far away land lived a little girl who had everything she ever wanted. Toys, books, friends and candy…, but most importantly she was FREE
Free to run! Play! Sing! And even fly! Until one day the Nothing came. and when the little girl least expected it the Nothing picked her up and took her to a strange world. All her treasures where left behind. All she had were memories of Happy Times.
This strange world was similar to the world she once lived in. She tried to make the best of it! She tried to play her usual games, but she had no toys. She tried to read her favorite books, but they were written in another language. She tried to fly, but she couldn’t. Something and nothing stopped her. This new strange world was robbing her of her childhood and in order to survive the little girl had to grow up too FAST.
Her games turned into thinking about ways to survive. Instead of Flying she had to walk. The road was long, rocky, prickly and full of poisonous insects. She had to be very careful.
She eventually grew up into a young woman, but she never forgot how to Fly. All her memories were still there. Her memories of the Happy days, now with even greater detail. She could even picture her favorite toy. She could see herself reading her favorite book sitting on her favorite chair. Although these memories brought a brief sense of Happiness She was NOT Happy.
The Nothing had brought her to a world without feelings. A cruel place. A place where everyone could dream of a better place, but only some could Fly there. A place where everything could be achieved, but nothing could get done. She grew up looking Happy, but feeling sad inside. She walked around with a smile on her face and a million tears in her heart.
She was strong, she fought on and she tried to FLY! And for a brief instant she felt she could do it! She was up there! She could feel the wind brush against her cheek, but the Nothing pulled her back!!! And that brief freedom ended…and she was reminded of where she was.
She was in a place where she didn’t belong. A place where dreams have a price!
Once upon a time, in a far away land lived a little girl who had everything she ever wanted. Toys, books, friends and candy…, but most importantly she was FREE
Free to run! Play! Sing! And even fly! Until one day the Nothing came. and when the little girl least expected it the Nothing picked her up and took her to a strange world. All her treasures where left behind. All she had were memories of Happy Times.
This strange world was similar to the world she once lived in. She tried to make the best of it! She tried to play her usual games, but she had no toys. She tried to read her favorite books, but they were written in another language. She tried to fly, but she couldn’t. Something and nothing stopped her. This new strange world was robbing her of her childhood and in order to survive the little girl had to grow up too FAST.
Her games turned into thinking about ways to survive. Instead of Flying she had to walk. The road was long, rocky, prickly and full of poisonous insects. She had to be very careful.
She eventually grew up into a young woman, but she never forgot how to Fly. All her memories were still there. Her memories of the Happy days, now with even greater detail. She could even picture her favorite toy. She could see herself reading her favorite book sitting on her favorite chair. Although these memories brought a brief sense of Happiness She was NOT Happy.
The Nothing had brought her to a world without feelings. A cruel place. A place where everyone could dream of a better place, but only some could Fly there. A place where everything could be achieved, but nothing could get done. She grew up looking Happy, but feeling sad inside. She walked around with a smile on her face and a million tears in her heart.
She was strong, she fought on and she tried to FLY! And for a brief instant she felt she could do it! She was up there! She could feel the wind brush against her cheek, but the Nothing pulled her back!!! And that brief freedom ended…and she was reminded of where she was.
She was in a place where she didn’t belong. A place where dreams have a price!
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